I feel there is so much wrong with me, but I can not get any help. I feel like I am going to drown in my misery and all these feelings and that I am going to snap and get out of what I am feeling.

I think I am schizophrenic and depressed. I do not think my mom would care enough to take me to a doctor if I told her and I dont think she would believe me, And I dont think my doctor would help me if I told him. Every online test from medical sites say I should talk to a doctor, and yes I realize these are just online tests, but it doesnt help me believe it is all in my head.

I need help, I want help so badly. I cant get any and I am suffering. I dont know what to do and If  I cant get help soon I know I am going to SI again. Soon…