So, after I got myself back on track with therapy, started some new meds which have helped a lot, and really started to take an active part in my overall well-being, things have improved so much. With this improvement came more confidence which led me to interview for a promotion at my job – which would also mean moving over 1,000 miles away. I interviewed, and did great and got the position! I am very excited, but now the time has come to move to a whole new area, and start this brand new position without knowing anyone and really knowing what I am supposed to do.
Don’t get me wrong, I think this is a fantastic opportunity for me, but I now that I have to move in a few short days and leave my comfort zone. I am so very scared. I don’t want to fail. I have been doing so well, have been happy and more confident in myself than I have been in a while. I just don’t want to see that all go away because I am scared. I have a tendency to draw back from people and life when I am nervous and lose confidence in myself. Starting a new position in a brand new place is going to be stressful. I just want to do well and not mess anything up. I really just want to continue on this path of improvement. I want to finally be happy and not wait for the ball to drop at any minute. I have not SIed in many months. I don’t want to feel like I need that source of “comfort” back.