I posted on here last month and no one responded . . . So I kinda feel like whats the point. But i guess its just whatever. I got out of the abusive relationship and now here I am, with three kids to take care of by myself and so many OBSTACLES. Its been almost two years since I SIed but here I am again . . . contemplating . . . ruminating . . . obesessing . . . figures right? Well how can someone just expect me to come out of an abusive relationship and not struggle . . . its whatever I guess. Either I will or I won’t but no one has to know either way. I’ll just hide it all again . . . I mean I always used to say it was the one thing that would never leave me. . . maybe it never did. Maybe it was just put on hold for awhile . . . yeah . . . we could say that. We as in me myself and I. Yeah . . we’re our own best friends us three. yup . . . all alone . . inside my head . . . just a little poem to finish with
Time doesn’t matter the way it once was. Pictures imperfectly hang just because. And the dirt on the window sill never gets clean. The walls full of holes smudged with stains in between. The laundry piles higher, the rugs tattered. I wonder if any of it even matters . . . .
*Sadie*
Sadie,
First of all.. please dont think that your not important or wanted because no one responded on this blog. you ARE important and you are a lot better than the person who hurt you. I’m proud of you for taking initiative to keep yourself and your kids safe and getting out of your relationship. you deserve better. and so do your kids.
i think you need to talk to someone in person. you dont have to be by yourself.. you shouldnt be by yourself. You need someone who knows what you are going through.. get involved with some kind of support group. or any social group, really. you need people who can hold you and hug you and love you and bring you back to health. get help. for yourself, for your kids. your children love you, and you need to love you too. others will see this and want to know you too. just talk. you dont have to say much.. but start.
you were strong enough to get out of your relationship. you ARE strong and you CAN do this.
promise <3
Hi…
I felt the same way when no one answered my blogs so i stopped the first time. Then i realized how good it felt getting all the inside thoughts out, so i came back. ANd when i needed to Si i came back here and bloged again. It seems like a good escape.
I personally dont know if one really ever gets over Si. Ive been free of it for 5 months, and Today i want it more than ever, and your right no one will have to know. But is it worth it? I probably am not the best to tell you if it is or isnt because that is what im contemplating myself right now, but the fact that we both are on here, and not SIing… is ALOT.
Life isnt easy, i guess one day at a time is the best way to go. Good luck to you and good for you for getting out of an abusive relationship.
Your not alone. <3
Thank you guys. i havent si’ed in almost two years so it would be a big step back if i gave up now. one day at a time… god i hate that saying. but its so true….
hey sadie.
Def do not feel bad no one responds. based on the three kidsmarriage info i am sure your age is different then most. i am 33 and when i write on here i dont get a lot of response. i think maybe the younger peeps don’t know what to say or can’t relate to our age.(not assuming your my age, but even if your over 20)… or maybe people are afraid to give advise in a life they havn’t lived yet,,,but do not fret we are all important and you are heard. you know how the internet is u get caught in the shuffle of blogs i guess . but people hear you and i am proud of your for the changes you made and are making. i havn’t si’d in years and today i got so mad i was seething. i struggle wit a lot inside my head and like “whatever” (the blog above this one) said ..we may never get over it. just have to overcome it daily ya know. all we can do is take it day by day. i’m trying to live that motto for once in my life. instead of compound my issues by thinking ahead. idk. i am prob not much help either. lol. but if you ever need to vent, etc. hit me up if you need to..xmaterialgrrlxx@hotmail.com (don’t laugh its a super old email addy lol)
take care and keep your head up.
=)
My mom went through the same thing you did. I always admired the strength she used to leave my real dad, that i never knew was there. But she did struggle. She turned to drinking soon after. Luckly, that didnt last long. My mom is a strong women (ill prolly never admit that to her), and one day your kids are going to feel the same. And if you ever go to SI again, think about your kids. What would they think off you? If my mom did that… I would prolly give up on everything, becuz if she can’t handle life, what gives me the right to think i can. Don’t let the urges defeat you, if not for yourself, then for your kids.
I believe in you. 🙂