its me again..    

another poem; enjoy. 

you see happy people walking in the halls; you put on a smile. those dazzling people will never know what im going through an they will never know that pretending to be happy is causing a part of me to go to a dark place.  But everytime someone does ask me if im okay, it’s just a reminder that im not. Im crying inside and no one knows it but me; I wish they understood. I wish I didn’t have to pretend. I wish I didn’t have to hide. Well, I guess that I can’t hide from something that won’t go away. A piece of me is missing. I look an look, but never find it. The one thing I seek for in the world is this missing piece; yet all I fine is pain, loss an despair. I can feel myself slipping more and more every day now. I don’t know why i feel the way I do about myself. I just have soo much hate towards myself. I sit an wonder, am I now happy with my life? Why me? Why is my life so much harder than others; why does it always rain the most on the one day that deserves the sun. I just feel so empty an alone in this world. Im not afraid of dying; it’s the fear of that this sadness may one day overtake me.  What if my pain overcomes me an surrounds me in its endless suffering? I never understood why there is a point in living when no one understands the pain that you feel. What is the point of continuing this everyday pain just to be somewhere that you aren’t wanted an no one cares. No one cares and no one’s there. I depend on myself and that isn’t even enough sometimes. I’ve been broken down by this invisible hand; I cant see it coming. No way to defend against it. I’ve got the scars to show for. I’ll fight back with the strength deep inside me. The world is weighing down my shoulders; why do I have to please everyone?