As I got on the school bus this morning I was fine. I sat down and my mind went wild. I told myself that I was going to SI when I got into school but I never SI in school. School is my one safe place and I want to keep it that way even though freshman year is more challenging. I didn’t SI but I felt distracted all day. I wrote on here a couple of days ago and I said I would stop SIing. I really want to keep that promise, but I feel like I am going to break down.
addicts don’t promise. they struggle and they try, and they do their best. your best is all you can give. don’t tarnish your safe place. Sometimes I had thoughts such as that too, but I remember that as long as I stay in the one place where I couldn’t be hurt, everything will pass. Because if you just stay where you are and let time go, things blow over. That’s always how it is.
think of it as, this is where the good things are. nothing here can touch me. nothing can get to me, no matter what I may think. Inside our minds are a dangerous and scary place to go alone, and sometimes we need distraction. Just think of happy things. Or pray. Closeness to God isn’t always a necessary element of recovery, but I’ve found it most helpful. I used to be called a Jesus freak because I read the bible and pray often. But it helps me, so I don’t care what others say. Don’t go inside your thoughts alone. Go with God, and try and figure them out. Or talk them out to a friend, or simply, stop yourself from thinking them, only for the moment. Go back and re-examine them later. Completely avoiding your thoughts, good or bad, won’t help you in the long run.
You’re strong, you can get there.
<3 rescue
Don’t feel bad. i slipped up today when i got home from school. I found my self getting mad for no reason in first period, and second became very emotional because i realized by confinding in one of my friends who didnt know she decided to try it, and 4th a girl really got me mad, and i just don’t know what happend after that. but stay strong, it’s worth it.
Yeah I know. I hope I can keep my promise.
Thank you rescue is possible x0. What you said really got me thinking.
i ruined my safe place-my church, i know i’m so hypocrytical- and it seemed like i couldn’t go back-hold onto it with all you have. never give in to it in your school, please, please learn from my mistake.
Thank you Tiffany. I will learn from you. I will keep school my safe place, and don’t worry you’ll find another safe place again.