My youth minister gave me a link to get to this site about a week ago. He feels maybe it will help me to have other i can relate to, and to share my story with them as well… So yeah, I’m 15 year old girl, and I’m a Sophomore in high school. I have been SIing for about a year in a half, because it allows me to relieve stress and it’s the only thing in my life i feel like i can control. When my friends found out i was doing it, I think mostly it scared them and they tried to help me, but they didn’t know how… Soon after my parents found out and it was the worst thing that could have ever happend. They refuse to get me help so i just told them i quit. It scares me, because every time i do it, it gets worse and my friends are afraid that one day its going to kill me… Ive been through alot in my life that got me to this point and sometimes its the only time when i feel alive, or just feel ingeneral. Im numb of emotions, so i often fake them. When im smiling i want to show misery, and when i laugh i really want to cry. I just want to be happy again, or atleast remember what it feels like to have joy and love in my life, because those are two emotions i have forgotten and long for again. So, im going to give this a try, and maybe ill get better.
You have probably heard this before but I can relate. You will find happiness again. I’ve recently realized that I wont be happy if SI is still in my life and i’m trying to stop and I know it will be an everyday battle. Soon you will realize that SI is only bringing more pain. I’m sure you can beat this.
yeah, i hope you are right. :/
I am right,you will beat this. Just keep your head up.
easier said than done unfortunately. But thank you. I need alittle encouragment. staying um… “sober” for SI is slowly killing me, but i have to give it a try. I think i owe that to the people who love me and myself.
Yeah,that’s true.Sorry, I always seem to push people to hard when it comes to stopping SI.
I can relate to practicly everything you’ve said. You are not alone. Your youth pastor was right in telling you about this website. It’s helping me and I hope it helps you. I am only one year younger than you and also am in highschool, so I can relate to most of what you are saying. If you ever want to talk to someone, you can reach me at lindsayreeders@aol.com. And no, I am not a weird, stalker guy. I am a girl who is going through the same thing you are.
I’m glad you’re here, your story is important. But, you can’t lie to your parents about quitting, because the more you lie to others, the worse you lie to yourself. You have to work at this, and I’m glad you have your youth minister to talk to. You really have to push your parents to get you help, maybe a therapist would work best. I’ve found that in stopping with the injuring, I’ve allowed myself to experience emotion. Sometimes I’d just let myself cry, because I would feel better feeling emotion than numbing it and shoving it aside. You are a strong person, always remember that. The first element of getting yourself out of this is wanting to. You can’t recover if you have no desire to. You can make it through this. You’re capable and loved and worthwhile. Just want to get better, and keep going from there. Count the days, they’re important. Your story is important.
<3 rescue
No its cool. and linds i will, if you want you can reach me at Blue_rose_girl12@yahoo.com. so if you get an email from that address, its me.
One thing I’ve found that helps with the numbness and feeling like I have to fake emotions is to practice stress reliving exercises. I still feel numb and like i have to fake how I feel, but I’ve found there are days I can really feel and its been nice when I feel like I can feel on those days.
The other thing is music – I try to make a habit of listening to uplifting music daily (even if I want to listen to music that matches my mood) and for that 1/2 hour or so that I listen helps a little too.
((hugs))
To rescue: I understand where you are coming from, but you don’t know my parents, They WILL NOT do anything. There are ppl in this world like that, and i don’t like crying, it makes me feel weak and defeated, and i hate emotions too. But you make good points, and your right my story is important, every one of ours is. But only when we share our whole story, which i hope to do in time.
To storm: Music is my life, it defines me lol, so yeah i try to.
Crying isn’t bad for you you know, most of the time it’s good to feel instead of numbing the pain through injury. I’ve been through that.
yeah, but the guilt that comes with it sucks. i feel like im being selfish, and im not a selfish person. On the contrary i am a very loving, kind and giving person. And feeling that way just makes me want to SI more. My anger and emotions get the best of me, and i feel defeated. So i stop myself…