I don’t even know where I got the idea to SI. I started in the 8th grade (I’m a senior in high school now). I don’t even remember why I did it my first time. My mom found out about it shortly after I started. She threatened to send me to Juvenilie if I did it again, so Ididn’t for a while.
For the past year things just haven’t been going too well for me, I could go into detail, but frankly I don’t feel like typing that much. So last semester I was back to SIing again in pretty obvious spots. I was basically careless about it. One day after taking my math final, I got up to put the graphing calculator I had borrowed away, and turn in my test. I got back to my seat and then my teacher called my name unexpectantly and told me to come to her desk, so I did, and then she asked me, ” What’s on you…..?” i was a little bit in shock that she had noticed. i simply shrugged it off and said it was nothing. Then she asked me if I SIed. I just replied, “maybe.” and sat back down in my seat. It was only 2nd period so I had the whole day to go. I spent it panicing. I didn’t know how she would react. At the end of the day, during my last class, I got called down to my couselor. I already knew what was going to happen next.. So I went down there, and at first she was just talking about college stuff and I was just thinking, okay, maybe she doesn’t know..two seconds later she tells me that she got a call from my math teacher and kinda smiled at me. I didn’t know how to look or respond so I just didn’t say anything. She started telling me how worried she was about me. She said that she had actually gone down there to speak with her about me. I’m not gonna lie, it did make me feel pretty happy that she cared that much. She told me that she was freaking out like, “oh my gosh, she’s gonna hurt/kill herself” and all this stuff. I really didn’t know how to react then. She just started asking me questions about why I did it, how long I’ve been doing it and all that stuff. And then she had to call home and tell my grandma. I was not too happy about that. That caused me sooo many problems and it really made me regret ever doing it,
Still today I think about doing it. But I really want to stop for my friends who know, even though I really don’t think that they care, but they still act like they do.. So now I have to go talk to these counselor people at my school. Or at least that’s what my school counselor told me last semester. i haven’t talked to anyone yet.. but my mom got a call about it last week, so I’m getting kinda worried about it..