Ok.  It’s been months for me and I’m not at my edge yet but there’s big a shift in my personality lately which I think means I’m getting better and it’s causing me to behave differently.  My husband feels he’s dying of my changes.  But I want to keep them.  But I’m not sure what I can trust b/c I have a DID diagnosis and I’m sure that I’m not totally off with alters and all but I’m not sure about what’s happening and I don’t know if what’s happening now is related to that.  The reason I feel the need to write all this out is that I told my husband about some personal information about my past (stuff from before I even met him) and he freaked out.  His says I violated him.  I’m not so sure if he’s going to come home tonight at least until very late at night but he didn’t tell me he was going out.  He said some things to me that I found to be very abusive.  This is new sight.  The old defenses of si and just shutting down/being paralyzed/shut off are all gone and I’m just here.  But it feels way too rational.  Maybe I’m not used to how it feels to feel ok in the world, looking at it as it is.  Or maybe I’m blocking out all the emotion and am about to crash.  I’m a little nervous.  Maybe I get to pick which one it is by how I choose to percieve it.