so this is my first post, andi have been dealing with S.I for about..what has it been now 6 months? wow, 6 months of my life gone… but anyway i have been dealing with this for i guess half a year and before that like 2 years ago for a year. so im not a stranger to huritng myself. but in the end i found out im not a stranger to hurting the ones i love either. once i tryed to end it in august things just went down from there. i had to tell my mom, loss her trust indefinalty, go to the docter tell him, then go to 3 other people and tell them my story until they told me i needed to be in the hospital. And i think thats when i realized there might actually be something wrong with me.

but anyway back to S.I. in the hospital i just kept hearing my problems, and kept talking and talking, that i just needed to get out and injure. now at the time, i didn’t think about why i needed to, it was just a reaction i had when everything thing was too much. When all my emotion were drowning me. And since them, anytime life gets too hard, girls get too mean, or boys don’t care, i can’t stand a chance against the whirpool of emotions sucking me down the pit. For all you english-freaks out there like me, its my Charybdis,  and i’m Odysseus.  But now what im working on is how to deal with charybdis, and to learn to swim.

i hope every girl [[and guys]] knows that what we go through is hard, its not just something “emo” kids do, and it doesnt make us weird. And to act awkward around us, it only makes it worse. and it only causes the pain. so ask questions, only if they want to answer. don’t stare at scars and don’t be to suffocating. and for some people that are not doing it anymore but have the scars, don’t bring them up. they are the dark moments of our pasts, that make up the colors we are today.