hey. im new to this website. i dont really know how to do blogs but i think this will help. i recently started therapy for my injurys. i started an anti-depressants today, but i dont know how it will affect me. my parents dont know how to deal with me. they think they understand but they dont. they tell me how much they love me and how much they care and how they are always here. it may sound nice, it may sound protective. but they treat me like im 5. they dont respect me, trust me or act like im good enough. my brother also went to therapy when he was a little kid and i dont know if it helped or not because we are not that close. every time i hurt myself, i feel like im letting everyone down. everyone that trys to help me, all my friends and my parents. i feel horrible cause now i have to use all of my energy trying to hid because i cant stop yet. im trying, but everything is spilling into darkness. and right now i have no other outlet. so i spend my nights alone, trying to hide the fact that i injure. i feel sick. i dont eat and what i do eat, its not healthy. im an athlete too so i need to be strong and healthy, but all of the stuff im doing makes me sick when i work out. but i battle threw it and it makes me feel even worse… whats even worse is the fact that i cannot wear clothes to cover up at practice. the feild is the one place where everything is out in the open. im hoping that my new meds and therapy work…but right now, i dont have many other options.