This is my only peace. Writing on here. But I write so often. I feel like this is a bad thing. I try to avoid writing. But I”m so shattered that this is the only way I can explain my thoughts to myself. I’ve given up on journeling, writing songs, poems, dancing (i love it. but its not expressive) anything that people say is an escape. It doesn’t help me, and actually makes me feel worse because I am unable to put my words into something beautiful. It’s just jibberish. I have avoided self injury for a while now, but I’m afraid that when I get done with this I’m going to give in, and have to start over. I feel like I’m getting better, the urge is not that strong. I just don’t know what to do. I still feel the need to find my escape and I know that writing on this site daily just can’t be it. So for now, I’ll just use my original destructive path of escape unless I find something else soon. Very, very soon.