It’s me again, I’m just going to update from last time… Maybe this time someone will actually try and help me. Though I’m not surprised, even on a site like this no one offers to talk to me… But I digress. So last time I had said I hadn’t self injured in a week or so, but I think it was actually a month… But that doesn’t matter, because a day or two after I posted that I was back to self injuring…  But then just a few days ago, my doctor called and I found out that my physical was the next day. I was nervous, because I knew that they would see everything. So, I went there, and they had me change into a gown. The entire time up until my doctor came in, I kept hidden. My father was in the room when she noticed. This came as a shock to my father, because he only knew about my self injuring the first time I did it. My doctor had him leave the room and she asked me why I was doing this, so I told her. I told her how no one in my house seems to treat me equally or like I’m of value to them. How they would call me rude names that lower my self esteem. How my medical condition lowers my self esteem even lower… Well, she reccomended I visit a counselor. My dad agreed, but we have yet to set up an appointment. I am fearing this because I’m worried that by the time the appointment comes, it will be to late, and I will have hit rock bottom, where none of me is literally left. I have thought about calling the number on your site, but I’m always afraid that someone in my house will catch me because they do not know about the dark thoughts I’ve been having… And they keep trying to talk to me about why I have been self injuring but I feel uncomfortable talking to them. I would talk with my mother, but I barely get to see her. We are seeing about maybe me moving in with her, because everyone knows that living where I am right now is not good for my mental health. My friend offered that I would stay at her house… I told her she could ask her mother but I wouldn’t be offended if she says no…

Someone please give me some advice, tell me there is some hope for me out there. Because all that’s left of me is fear, anger, pain and sadness. I’m trapped in the dark with no way out… -Lostangel