Suprisingly, it’s been a week since I’ve last injured.  I really want to, but I’m scared that my parents are going to find out when we go to FL in a week.  Luckily no one has been asking any questions.  I’m so ticked off though.  I was in a group of friends on Saturday, and then some of them started to make fun of people who self injure.  I became so angry, but I didn’t want to say anything and of course just had to put my mask on and laugh along. 

My shrink knows about me SIing again, but it’s almost like I’m still in denial.  I mean, obviously, you know if you injure or not, but for some reason I can’t come to terms with it.  It doesn’t feel right, so say outloud that I injure myself.  My mind just can’t quite fathom that I SI, it’s like this surreal dream that I actually do it.   In health class, we’re talking about addictions, and it’s kinda ironic, because I was assigned self mutilation to do a report on it.  My teacher talked about how people have to WANT help in order to overcome their problem.  I know that I technically need help, but I dont know if I want it anymore.  I feel like I’m just a burden to everyone around me, that I’m wasting people’s time when I talk to them.  It’s a lot better for everyone else if I fake it…