I want to laugh so bad and I don’t even know it ‘s like I just want to laugh at my pain just look in the mirror and sit saying over and over again that I deserve what I feel. And its hard to convince myself I don’t. I hate who I am and I hate not feeling anything. I miss the person that understood me but he probuably does’t give a rip. I can understand, who really would want to love me ? i don’t even know what I am saying anymore maybe I am going through withdrawls form not SIing if thats even possible. I just want to feelsomething thats not disgust of myself.