I dont know whats wrong with me. its like a little part of me dies everytime i have to pretend to be someone im not. this happenes a lot. i SI’d two days ago after going almost four months without doing anything. now i have to go back to my old ways of covering it. i “hurt” myself by falling. i hope no one asks to many questions because i dont want to face the reality of it all. i was talking to one of my only friends who knows about it and then in the middle of our conversation she stopped texting me back and im afraid that im dishing all my problems on her and she is backing off because she doesnt want to deal with me. i need her and im scared of what might happen if she stops talking to me for good. something is wrong with me today because i cant seem to think anything happy and i have been shaking uncontrolably for hours. well i just needed to vent.