I pretty much played hookey today. My parents thought I was sick, cause I look terrible since I haven’t been sleeping very much (probably an average of 3 hours). I dunno, I’ve been having bad dreams again, so I just make myself stay awake and sleep as little as possible. I feel like I’m having to live these two separate lives though, and I dont know how much longer I can keep it up without completely cracking. I dont want to tell my parents, cause last time I told them what was going on my dad freaked out on me and only made things worse for me. I’m so used to fake “being happy” that I even fool myself sometimes. I still have to be myself around my friends, so they won’t suspect anything. But quite frankly, I dont even know who that is anymore, and I’m afraid that I wont be able to find myself again.