Maybe somebody can help me. Recently I have decided to seek help. I have been SI’ing for about 3 years now. I have been through so much and SI seems to be my only escape from it all. Talking to my friends and looking back I see I should have got help along time ago. I feel so bad for what I have put my friends through. About a year ago I realized I should look for help when I hurt my best friend horribly by my attempt at suicide. She was outside crying begging me not to when I attempted. That is something that still sticks with me. But the most recent time is when my close friend and my boyfriend and I were all hanging out and I got into a bad fight with my boyfriend and he stormed out of the house and my close friend went to calm him down. I broke down and grabbed the item I used to SI myself and I SI’D then went walking the street looking for him and I could not find him and I was crying my eyes out. It was pretty bad so I layed down in the road and my close friend came and found me. They brought me in the house and I felt so horrible when I saw how upset and worried my close friend was. I never realized that my pain could hurt someone else. My SI recently has been hurting my boyfriend and I want to get help so that I can stop hurting him. He means the world to me and if me getting help is what is best for both of us, I want to get help. But it is so hard because my mother thinks I am just trying to get attention when I SI and thinks my problems are just normal and I will get over them but I can not just deal with my problems. I think I will make a doctors appointment and ask my doctor about therapy but I am afraid my mom will just push it aside and I will never get help and I will only get worse. But hopefully one day maybe somebody will be able to help me and I can learn to deal with everything without using SI and Substance abuse to deal with all my problems.