So it’s 3:00am and I can not sleep. I haven’t been sleeping lately. I’ve been having a lot of troubles with SI and other thoughts. I’ve been talking to a friend about it and she was really helpful. We’ve been going back and forth since the begining of the month. Even if we can’t reply right away, we always send eachother short messages saying we will replay ASAP. So today, I got on Facebook and saw that she didn’t reply back. I figured she just hasn’t read my message yet. I’ve been on and off all day waiting for her reply. but I got nothing. She was on for a good amount of time too. I have a feeling that she’s giving up on me. She said she wouldn’t give up on me but you never know. I also think I shared too much with her and that’s why she’s ignoring me. It really sucks though.T really need her. Of course when I need her the most, I’m being ignored. I wish she would know how much I need her. I was thinking some pretty horrible thoughts before we started talking. I get to see her in person tomorrow so she’ll probably have a good excuse as to why she didn’t reply to my message. I just really hope she doesn’t tell anyone what I’ve been telling her. I would bein some major therapy. Which begins my next topic.
I’ve been put into counseling because of my SI problem. I absolutely hate counseling. Me and my counselor don’t even get along.It’s at school so I don’t go down to her office unless I’m called down. She just bugs me. All she does is ask me a million questions and writes down the answers. It’s creepy. But I really dislike counceling. Does anyone else have these problems? I feel so alone.