Why is it that I feel so alone even when there’s a lot of people at my house? I feel like no one understands what I’m going through. I feel like part of me is dead like I have no feeling what so ever. I feel like I’m just a shell of a person. I cant find it in me to go out and do things. I realize every time I fight with my parents I go into these fits of rage and I don’t understand why I get so mad. I think part of it is the fact that I’m the middle child, my older brother is 24 and my sister is 16. I hate how my parents are always helping my brother and saying how proud they are of him. My little sister never seems to do anything wrong and every time my parents need something they make me do it. Its like I cant do anything right and I cant ever make my parents proud of me. Sometimes when I get into my fits of rage I feel so numb to everything I end up injuring to see if I can feel anything.  I know this probably seems like a bunch of babbling but I’m not very good with sorting out my thoughts to get things to make a lot of sense. I wish there was a way to stop hurting myself but there are times where  I feel if I don’t hurt myself, Ill end up hurting someone else. The last thing I want to do is hurt someone. My head is so full of scrambled thoughts I cant think straight. I have the urge to injure myself and I have had it for the past week but I’m trying so hard to fight it and not do it. I cant sleep at night cause all this just keeps flowing through my head…I just want it all to stop.