So, just a few minutes ago, i went to type i a web address to go to, and as it always does, when a typed the first letter, it poped up with a list of other sights that had been visited. I saw one that i knew i hadnt typed in, and just the name of the websight disturbed me. I clicked on it to see what it was, and was even more disturbed to see what it contained. It was a very sexually inaprpprate sight.

I came up behind my fiance the other day while he was on the computer, and he was on a dating sight. when i asked him what he was doing, he said that he had sisters in the town he was looking in, and he was making sure they didnt have a profile, cause he was going to get on to them if they did. I thought that sounded a little fishy at the time, but with my fear of confrontation, i didn’t say aything. Now i think i know what his intentions really were. Not to mention he called his ex-wife yesterday “just to chat.”

I wish i had the courage to confront him, but i feel like always i will just be a big push over about it. I keep trying to tell myselfthat im jumping to conclusions, after all i dont have any real proof, just susspicious circumstances. I love him, i love hem a lot, how can i just walk out? out wedding is in a week!

I want to si so bad. he made me promise to talk to him before i did it again, but i can’t talk to him with out risking being hurt worse. What if he lies about it, or insults my itelegance by making up something lame? What if he gets angry at me? I dont think he would hurt me physicly, but then again, i thought he wouldnt do this either.

My eating behavior urges are very strong right now to, cause maybe thats why. maybe its because im too fat. he did tell me that he would like to see me loose weight so i would be healthier. So maybe if i did, he would stick with me.

I feel like i cant talk to anyone besides on here about it, cause I want them to think im happy for a change, and cause if i do, and i stay with him, they will judge me weak. maybe i am though. So i have to keep it all bottled up. I cant even talk to my new therepist about it, cause she brought up the idea of having him sit in every now and then to do a family session, and she will for sure say something about it to him.

I love him, i really do, i just dont know what to do, i mean what if i AM jumpig to conclusions? Well im sorry i took so long, just needed to go somewhere with it.