Well, sorry it’s been so long. I’m in the hospital right now. I’ve been here for two weeks exactly. I’m supposed to be getting out Monday and I’m really scared. I don’t feel ready, but they don’t care about that. I’ve tried telling them that and they still don’t care.
Anyway, my concern is this: I missed school starting, and I’m probably going to have to withdraw from all my classes. If this is the case, I will have an entire semester and absolutely nothing to do. I want to seek inpatient treatment, but I don’t know where. I want to do SAFE Alternatives but inpatient isn’t really an option right now. My only other options would be a group home or some type of nursing facility, which I don’t wanna do. Since I’ve been in the hospital, my depression and urges to SI have been horrible. I keep getting my hands on “tools” but thankfully I’ve been smart enough to give them to staff before using them. I just don’t know what to do, I’m so lost, and the hospital won’t give me the time to try and figure things out. They are kicking me out on the streets, back to a domestic violence shelter that isn’t equipped to handle my issues. I wish they would give me a little more time to figure out something for me, whether it is inpatient or a group home or something…I just know that I need to stop SI, that I want to stop SI and I can’t quit on my own.