I wanted to die then, I wanted to destroy the body i was trapped in. to become what she was, no matter what it took, no matter how much mutilation and pain.

But he looked at me for what ever the reason, and he pulled my face to his and pressed his lips to mine like he was trying to suffocate us both.

I couldnt stand how much pain i put him through on a daily bacis, because i was destroying myself and him.

to end it all, to stop this pain im causeing him, no matter what they say it dosent take away the pain.