Today was a pretty rough. I had exams for school, and while I scored a 92 on my pre-cal exam, I can’t help but feel inadequate. Sometimes I feel like my parents are never really proud of me. My dad said that I did well but my mom didn’t have much to say at all. How can they not see that Im reaching out for help? I feel so distant from my mom and that’s not the way it’s supposed to be. Im supposed to be able to talk to my mom about anything, right? I know she’s dealing with a lot of things due to being laid off and stuff but she can’t keep taking her anger and frustration out on me because I have nobody to vent to. That’s when I turn it on myself. Last night was bad. I stayed in my room a majority of the time just to avoid my mom’s wrath. My self-injuring seems to just be getting worse. Sometimes I scare myself. I’ve noticed myself completely withdrawing from my family and my friends. I feel trapped inside a dark place and there is just me. My parent’s caught me self-injuring when I was 12. My school principle found out and called my parents. They think that I’ve stopped.. I tried to stop on my own about a month ago. But then I substituted another form of self-injuring, got caught doing that and now Im back to self-injuring the original way. I just can’t seem to find happiness. I want my life to be vibrant again.. Im still young. Only 16, I have my whole life ahead of me. How do you find happiness in a life that is so cruel and cold?

Im really thankful that I’ve found this site. I feel like now I have a place to turn. I will always have someone to talk to now. It’s strange how much this site can change your feelings. (And today is only my second day!) I can feel myself becoming a stronger person. Maybe in due time I will be strong enough to tell my parents that I injure. I know they won’t understand. My mom puts others down in hopes of pulling herself up. I really can’t wait until I can revel in the glory of telling my mom that she failed to break me down. Hopefully we can establish a strong relationship like we had before…