Im now 15 i have been self-harming since i was 12. My depression started once i went to high school, i was getting bullied by older girls and at the same time my cousion had cancer. This was the second time it came back. I also had alot on my mind before that as i was adopted when i was a baby. Ive never really came to accepting that i was apopted as it hurts to no that my mother would keep my sister and not me. I have problems sharing my feeling with family and friends so i bottle it all up, this also wont help, i no that i am suffering from a deep depression and i no i need help, im so scared about feeling alone and empty all the time, and rejection its worse all the people i seem to share my story with leave me. I dont no what to do., Please help. I want to be able to help people with self harm i want to be able to say i over came it i want to tell people that “You fought the fight , finnished the race and kept the faith” but to do so i no i need help!
I haven’t been adopted, so I don’t know how that feels. I’m just going to get that in the open so you don’t think I’m acting like a know it all. I hate it when people are like that.
I know that it’s REALLY hard to share stuff with people. Especially after you’ve been rejected by people who you try to get to help. That’s happened to me countless times.
Telling people that you’ve finally quit SIing, makes a great testimony and makes you feel strong. Think about telling this to people, and it being the truth. And sometimes it seems like it will make a better story if you make it just a little bit worse, and a little bit worse, and then you realize that its getting no where. Try to understand that your story will still shock them and make them feel like they can overcome anything from just hearing about you. Really. I dream of that day all time.
I haven’t yet figured out why when you tell someone my problem they stop talking to you. Maybe it’s because they just don’t know what to do so they just ignore . Hoping you’ll forget that you ever told them. Or think, now that you’ve told someone you can stop. But its never that easy and just makes it harder.
I know this sounds cliched, but the people who really care about you will stick around. Test them with small stuff to see if they stick around for that. Also, if you hear them talking to you about stuff that other people have done it probably means they’ll tell someone else about you. Remember that if you’re looking for some help.
So that’s long… but I hope it helps you. Even just a little bit. You can email me if you want. emily_shumaner@rocketmail.com
There are very few people i’ve ever told about SI-ing and I know that I need to tell someone who really has the power to help me, but i’m scared they will reject me as I have been rejected many times as you have.
You’re struggling with being adopted…i’m struggling with a father who uses substances. Your cousin has cancer…my friend has cancer. It’s not the same, I know, but it can have the a similar emotional effect on a person. All of us know what it’s like and all of us on this site can help you.
If you need to talk, please let me know.
Support is a great thing to have 🙂