hey im new here…ive been SI for about a year now and im only 14 which bothers me. it seems like when im with my friends, im alright, i can be happy and everything and no one can tell that i am so insecure. but when im by myself, it seems like i cant control any of my feelings or get a grip on anything in my life and i start to SI. its really affecting my school work and attitude at home and certain things seem to annoy me more than others. I have recently told a friend about my problem and he sort of freaked out on me which made everything worse. it’s understandable that he wouldnt know how to relate to me, but idk-it turned me topsy turvy for a while. Ive been doing some research on the internet and it seems that one of the most important things to stop SI is to find an outlet- something that you can just let yourself be free with while doing. But the thing is, i cant find anything that i enjoy doing where i can completely lose myself. Some people write poetry, sing, run, listen to music, but nothing seems to suit me and idk what to do.
I have a lot of things going for me and my parents have a great many plans for my future, although i seem to have lost mine. When i entered highschool only a couple of months ago, it seemed like all my friends were “finding themselves” where as i was losing who i am. I am a busy bee, and involved in lots of things but sometimes i just get this impending feeling thats terrible. its usually at night and in a trans i end up injuring and going back to bed. i have told many lies to keep myself safe. everytime i lie though, my friend- the one i told- looks at me with pain in his eyes and it seems to faze me even more. I try to keep things covered so i dont get questioned, but sometimes i forget and im scared that the wrong people might find out. He has offered me help many times, saying that even if i feel terrible in the middle of the night that i should call him and talk to him. Thing is, im not so sure i WANT the help. i mean, sure i need to stop, of course, but it doesnt seem like its gonna happen. ever. im really bad at talking to others, and i have a real problem with crying when i feel bad too. Everything is going upside down, this is definitely not how i pictured my life turning out. Any suggestions on how to relieve stress would be greatly appreciated. thanks(:
Well you and me are a lot alike. Have you tried journaling? Just write down everything you feel. and if you want you can rip it to shreads afterwards. It always makes me feel better instead of SI. and now that you’re on here, you can just write about how you feel and others will try and help. That’s what this site is for. 🙂 So keep your head up!
Have you ever tried letting an ice-cube melt against your skin? Imagine the ice as the source of stress and watch it melt away…not a permanant fix but safer than injuring.
i heard about using other outlets for stress. i’m not sure if it works but i’m gonna start trying it. its worth a shot i figure. hope it helps 🙂
I actually listen to music. Granted I listen to scream but a good song that I can’t get out of my head is “Remembering Sunday”. Try that. It does help. Try reading or even writing in a journal. Hope this works
thanks guys. im sure journaling will help, ive just never tried because im too scared that someone will find it and read what i have written. i suppose once i find an outlet, a lot of pressure will be relieved right? well i hope so.
@janner i have never thought of this, but its something to try. anything will help right now.
@amlalright thats a great song actually, thanks for the suggestion(:
I understand that you’d be scared. My journal is a notebook I leave it in plain sight. No one questions it because I have so many notebooks it’s not funny. Or try hiding it. A backpack under your bed. Hope this helps if you need anything use my email arbolser1@hotmail.con
A
alright thanks.
Oh,
you’re so much like me it’s startling,
I understand everything you’re going through,
And I as well have no outlet, nothing really jumps out at me,
I write in a notebook , just to get thoughts out of my head,
I write letters to people, but I don’t give them to them of course,
if you wanna talk, you can email me? Only if you want,
alwaysalexis@hotmail.com