i never realized how much being around my mother makes me want to SI. its really starting to bother me even to just talk to her. she is nasty and manipulator i can’t even stand being around her anymore. every time she talks to me i just want to scream. last time i hung out with her made me SI and almost got caught for it. she’s now sitting across the room from me and all i want to do is go upstairs to the bathroom and hurt myself.

my parents are divorced and i live with my dad almost full time. should i make it permanent?? i know it would kill her but it’s not like we even have a good relationship now.

i know if i had less contact with her then i would mostly hurt myself less but i don’t know how i could talk her. she never ever listens to me, i’ve tried to talk to her before but she never changes.

ugh i just can’t stand her anymore. mostly likely i’ll end up hurting myself but hopefully i don’t. i don’t want to. 

i feel like crying.