forgive me father, it has been months since my last confession..
Borderline-disorder
So now that they’ve found out what’s wrong with me,
can they fix me?
It has been over a month since I last SI. It left a mark. But nobody has noticed yet..
I’m having a really hard time, rebouncing from my last girlfriend..
My best friend and I finally cleared our fight out,
and she’s keeping me safe.
Eating is though, breathing is though.
Sleeping, and using substances is easy.
I want to fill up the emptiness inside.
Tears come running down my face, without reason..
I block people out, more and more every day..
get away from me!! … but please don’t leave me..
I miss you so much,
I’ve even forgotten how you smell,
how your voice sounds..
maybe I could have been something you’d be good at..
I can’t remember the twinkle in your eyes, when you smile..
because you said forever and always..
I know how it feels. Trust me. I am in a relationship even and I feel like I am alone. My girlfriend doesn’t understand why I have the urge to SI all the time. I can’t help it. (I have a lot going on if you read my blogs).
I understand the get away from me but don’t leave. I feel like that all the time. I can’t wait to be alone, but am so sad when I actually am alone that it hurts.
I’m glad you got a diagnoses, now comes the healing. I don’t know what my diagnosis is anymore.
Everything seems to be one big secret that I’m not let in on.
Don’t give up and do anything to keep yourself from SI. It doesn’t help in the long run and makes things at the moment seem better then you will feel even emptier once it’s over…. I know from experience.