today i was haing out with my boyfriend and he knows i SI. but today we were laying on my couch and he saw that i SI again and he freeked out on me and said he is starting to loose trust in me and that he couldent deal with me any more and he left after he was gone all i could was cry and it got to be too much so i SI again . i dont know what to do he is my everything i dont know what ill do if i loose him??
Things will work out if they are meant to be. In the mean time, don’t beat yourself up over it.
Men have a tendency to run away when they are scared or don’t know what to do. I have been there. When I was with a man (before I came out) and SI’ed, he would yell at me and threated to leave me. They don’t get it and the nature of it. Men want to be fix everything, and your boyfriend not being able to fix you probably makes him feel weak.
Maybe you could talk to him and explain what goes through your head or how you feel when you SI? I know it isn’t easy, especially if someone hasn’t been in that situation before. Perhaps you could offer him to go to a counselor to ease his mind a bit and take the stress off of him.
It sounds like he means the world to you. You probably mean a lot to him too, he just shows it differently. He might have gone home and cried too, for you and not knowing what to do.
I hope this helps, even in the slightest. . Things are going to get better, you just have to have hope and the will to help yourself.