i tell myself everyday i want to stop siing. so why do i keep doing it? it’s like i can’t let go… i don’t even know why i si anymore. its like, a life line.

a lot of mornings i wake up, and wish i didn’t wake up. I really don’t want to die, at all. i just want to sleep through the pain and wake up for the happy parts of my life. which are very few. so i wish i could just sleep. and stay in my beautiful fantasy dreams, where nothing goes wrong. i love my dreams. i don’t hate my life, i hate the life i created that has overcome my life.
i need help.
i want help.
why can’t i find help?