I don’t have a hard life compared to people
I have a boyfriend who loves me, a family that wants what’s best for me, a therapist who would go to the end of the world to make sure im alright
Why do i feel like a burden. Why cant i just be fine.
Ever since September things have gone down hill. My friends deaths. It’s like a piece of my heart was stolen from me. I cant be happy anymore.
I try but it’s like Depression has a hold on me and im losing.
Injuring has been a problem. I do it when im sad or mad or frustrated or numb or hurt. SO MANY THINGS.
Its like a cure all and i cant stop. I feel ugly unbeautiful and lost. Im angry at myself for doing this. I hate myself for doing this. i do this to make up for the feelings. Im addicted
How do i tell the man that i love this without scaring him away. How can i hurt my parents by burdening them with the news im injuring again. How can i let my therapist know that all the months of hard work was for NOTHING. How can i do this to them? So i keep it shut away. I cover up so maybe they wont notice. Im stupid and immature but they dont know im hurting them.
I want to be happy. I want Duane to know but how do i tell him? Im scared. I need to stop
I want to stop but its so hard
Maybe i’ll rise above this
i want to try
but i dont want to fail