well i ended up letting myself SI a few days ago. Its pretty bad but knoowing me, i will not have a doctor look it over. My roommate keeps on me to share and open up but when i do, i just end up bringing up painful thoughts and end up SI’ing to change my state of mind.
Holidays can be really hard I haven’t been very successful at getting through them either. I am to the point of dreaming about si and then wake up and do it. I hope tonight finds you safer.