So i SI-ed again. It’s been 5 months since i last did it. I really thought that i was getting  better at controlling myself but i guess i was wrong now the one person who saw my marks told my other friends and i know that i will never hear the end of it. They understand that the more they stress me about it the more i’m going to do it. But instead of being some kind of support they just make me ashamed of myself. I don’t know what really led me to do it again but i’m so disappointed in my self. I feel so ashamed of myself. I think it was the stress of starting university soon and this moving thing i’m doing. Its just that i thought i was getting better. I’m tired of people always questioning my marks. My friends never let me breathe. I know its probably gonna happen again because i’m so down on myself. I just wish that i wouldn’t have and that i had more self control. I feel like some addict or something and this is my relapse. Ugh so tired of always wanting to SI.