For the past 4 days I’ve been going crazy (Like I’m not crazy enough) because for one my therapist took her normal Xmas break & I don’t know what the threshold would be on calling my psychiatrist this week. I’ve been planning since last night/early this morning to SI because I’m depressed, I feel like I’m a million miles away from everything and basically feel so far down the slope that getting up is too tiring. I could say that maybe blogging would help me, but I know I would be lying to myself and everyone else. I just don’t know anymore today I feel as if there is nothing inside of me anymore. I look at my scars and say enough is enough, but on a day like today SIing is never enough. It’s getting really hard because it’s like this voice inside my head keeps saying that one more time is ok. It’s just harder everyday and I feel like I’m bursting at the seams.