I never thought that I would miss this. I entered the S.A.F.E. Alternatives program last summer. I think I got out on July 30th, 2008 to be exact. That was when it was still in TX – thank god. I went until October 6th of that year before I self-injured again. I had bouts where I would have a bad “incident”, but it never became a regular thing again. It seems that I should be happy about that. Now that I look back, I realize that I made the fact that I self-injured such a part of my identity and that’s what I think is the saddest part of all. I’m uncertain of how to get past this and let this part of my life go. It saved my spirit yet killed it in so many ways. I always knew that I would grow out of this part of my life. Perhaps I’m still scared I’m not quite grown. Perhaps when something has a hold on you for so long, you can’t help but hold it back.
This really has to pass sometime.