I’ve been struggling with SI since I was in the 5th grade. It started getting serious when I was in the 7th grade though. I hid it from my friends and my family with a smile on my face. No one suspected anything until I got really bad and fessed up and told my best friend in the eight grade. I swore her to secrecy, but she risked our friendship to save my life and she told her mom everything. On Thursday, I’ll be a year and ten months clean. It hasn’t been easy and lately I have lost almost all hope. I don’t really know how to deal with this anymore. I don’t want to deal with it either. Why me? Why do I have to struggle?! I want a normal life, not one full of pain. I feel worthless. What should I do? Is this really me? Does SI define who I am? Please help.