I havent si’d in over 6 months. and im very proud of that! but it hasnt been easy. lately its all i think about. I feel like ive hit a brick wall that i cant get around. im tired of fitting this battle.  ive been fitting this battle on and off (mostly on) for 5 or 6 years now. and at this point i feel like im never going to be able to say that i dont have a problem with it. i know a lot of people who used to SI. but none of them struggle still or if they do its no where near as much as i do. I just wonder if it is ever going to end?  Im honestly getting weak from this fight, and im ready to throw in the towel.  I spend all my time using all my copeing (sp?) methods all the time and they arent even doing anything anymore. I just dont know what to do anymore and i feel as if im running outta time til i break down.