So two weeks ago me and my girl broke up for good. She’s abusing substances and it’s getting worse, in fact she’s been in the E.R. since yesterday. Today her liver is failing and she has jaundice. I’m so torn and broken over this! I love her  but I can’t and won’t be with her cuz she’s sick and getting sicker and I’m trying to stay sober. I’ve been sober now for 8 months and 15 days. I’m so depressed with this as well as my work issue. I only get ten hours of work a week so I cant pay rent at all and it sucks. I’m afraid I’ll get booted from the 3/4 house I live in. I’m looking for a new job, just no one is hiring, plus I can’t go everywhere since I don’t drive a car. It just bites! I started running  three days ago, but I can’t seem to  continue to run w/out my girl. We ran together all through high school, so now I feel I have no motivation to run. So today I feel numb and just want to SI.  I feel like giving up and giving into my unhealthy voice that tells me to SI and use. How can I keep fighting when I’m physically drained and emotionally drained? My sleep this whole week has been messed up. I can’t sleep at night since my mind races so I get to bed by 10am and sleep until 2. I was late to work twice this past week cuz of it. Thats sad when my sleep is affecting my work as well as what people think of me. I need help! Literally I wanna scream “HELP ME!” but my head tells me to stay silent!