love your self?!?! Idon’t get that, I never have. How are you supposed to love yourself? People tell me I’m smart and beautiful, and have so much going for me. but all I see at the and of the road is a dark abyss.
And it hurts knowing that these people see a lie, a mask painted on permanently but its slowly cracking. I’m falling apart, losingwhat i have left of myself. I’m tired of being used as a pawn in life. It’s so easy to fall in love, but how can you love someone else when you don’t love yourself?
I know exactly how you feel. I get the same thing, very often, too. I don’t understand how i could possibly love myself, and I see no reason to. In all honesty, I don’t even want to. I don’t feel loved by others as it is. Even if I do get told so.
And, I also understand what you mean here. I have to paint on a smile everyday, pretend that I’m okay so no one knows. But, like you, I don’t know how long that will last. The si-ing is slowly taking over my life, and becoming more a part of me everyday. No one besides my two best friends,( who have, and do struggle with the same thing), know. Oh, and my disapproving, judgmental boyfriend. He doesn’t understand at all and calls me stupid for selfinjuring, so I told him I stopped. My life is crazy right now and sometimes I feel like I’m suffocating. I don’t know how much longer I can take it. I wish it would all just go away. The only thing I know to do is to numb it for a little while with self injury.
Anyway, I just want you to know that I know exactly how you feel, and that you’re not alone.
<3