I’m starting to understand that i self injure to distract myself from a lot of different things which i find unpleasant. I don’t know if that’s the only reason, but it’s certainly a big one. I’m thinking that by distracting myself from the truth, i’m really taking away whatever power i might have had in the situation, not gaining control (which is what i felt like i was doing by s.i.). By distracting myself from the truth, i’ve been diminishing my ability to change it, make it somewhat better, or at least understand it for what it is & deal with it. I haven’t s.i.ed in almost 2 weeks, but i didn’t understand why i needed to stop. This makes sense to me though. Not to mention the inherent health risks of s.i. and friends who want me to stop. This isn’t much, but maybe it’s a start. Then again, maybe not. I suppose time will tell.
That’s a really big realization to come to! If you can even come up with just one of the reasons why you SI, you are making steps towards being able to prevent yourself from SI-ing in the future! And for what it’s worth, it’s very common to seek control through SI. I know I’m guilty. As for stopping…make sure that you are stopping for YOU and not because others are urging you to stop. It’s totally understandable that people will urge you to quit, but just make sure you are quitting for yourself and not simply to please others.
Anyhoo, congrats on going two weeks without injuring! Each day without injuring is one more day of freedom!
Congrats on not SI-ing! It’s great that you’re coming to these realizations. That’s a step in the right direction. As catiewithaC said, knowing some of the reasons why can help you NOT SI in the future. You sound like you’re intelligent and I think you’ll be able to use all this great information to your benefit. Keep fighting!