so yes i have been improving drastically. i havent been on this site in ages. i havent injured since i think september but in september i didnt even really do it like fully. i think the last time i FULLY injured myself was in May.  i have been going to therapy for a year and a half and been on anti depressants for almost a year. i am much better but at some points i feel like im still the depressed person i was.   lately i have been crying so much and worrying about the people i love the most dying. i KNOW that if someone i truly truly love with all my heart dies i will SI. i just know it. i dont know why im feeeling this way. i dont know if i ever will be a normal teenager. i dont know. my life is so uncertain and confusing. i cannot help feeling so depressed.