Had a strange and unpleasant dream last night.  In it, my dad and stepmom were getting married the next day, and I was visiting them.  My mom was there too (odd, since in real life they don’t speak to each other).  Mom and dad got in a huge fight and she left in tears.  Then I started to cry, and my dad yelled at me for upsetting my stepmom and told me I had nothing to cry about.  I wanted to hurt myself, but never did.  Kept reminding myself not to give in.  Then I woke up and felt kinda stupid about resisting the temptation, since none of it was real in the first place.

But this dream has been kinda haunting me ever since.  Funny how my mind managed to pretty much sum up the reasons why I s.i. in a weird dream like this.  I often feel like a cross between a scared little kid and some terrible criminal.  That’s what i felt like in this dream.  Hm…this post is really weird.  Sorry about that.