random thoughts. i don’t really know what i’m wanting out of this post, but any replies are appreciated. i needed to vent a little.

i’m supposed to be studying for a test right now and i’m not doing it. i mean what’s so hard about it? its just a stupid test…i just don’t want to do it. i don’t know why. maybe its cuz i’m so depressed. i’m feeling hopeless about ever geting a job and moving on at all…or moving on in general. ever. i’m so stuck and i’m starting to give up…and things always get worse when i start to just quit and give up on stuff….as in ppl start to notice me acting wierd.

my dad and i were talking about me being off my antidepressant and feeling bad and for some stupid reason i said something like “hey if i ever have a mental breakdown again, don’t send me back to that hospital.” and my dad was all like ” well where would you want us to send you”


i shouldn’t have brought it up because that really shocked me…i mean what was he supposed to say? i guess i should have expected that.

i don’t want to be sent away ever again. it was horrible. i have been depressed the whole past 12 months because of it…i just want my life back…but i can’t remember what the life that i want back was like.