i reached a new low a few days ago. i diddnt self injure in my usual way, but did hurt myself. I woke up the next day and felt so upset.  today i had a counseling appointment and i never got up the nerve to tell him what i did and nw it will be 2 weeks before i see him again.  im not sure why i couldnt bring myself to tell him about it.  im noot sure what to think about all this because ive never really did that before. sometimes it feels like nothing will ever fix me. i just turned 40 yesterday. i should have everything figured out by now. people tell me to turn to god for answers but god and me have been on the outs ever since i was excommunicated from the latter day saints for going through with transitioning.