As the urges get stronger, things get so much harder. Ive gone 5 months without SI’ing and I want to continue that. But it had become such a big part of me that I dont feel totally whole without it. I dont know how to cope with my everyday emotions and feelings because I pushed them aside for so long. I have to relearn everything we had been taught since childhood.
I have realized that I hold alot of shame and guilt. And that is something thats been holding me back from totally recovering. I’ve realized I need to let go and move on… no matter how hard that may be.
I can be a different person.
I can be happy.
I can live a normal life without having things to be ashamed of.
I can realize that I am a good person, that I’m worth peoples time.
I can get the help and the support I deserve, and I can accept peoples compliments without getting embarrassed.
I’ve realized that this process of no longer wanting to SI will take time, and I know that I have to be patient with myself.
Thats enough to think about for now.