I’ve always thought that whenever I make any kind of mistake, I bring something bad and ugly into the world.  I know that all kinds of mistakes are just a part of life…and yet there’s this part of me that just won’t accept them.  Even though I find it easy to forgive others, I don’t know how to forgive myself for things that happened years ago and don’t really matter anymore.  I think that’s one thing that makes me want to injure.  It gets rid of that nagging feeling of wrong-ness inside of me.  I wish I knew another way to get rid of it.  I get this same nagging feeling when things are disorganized, like if something is in the wrong place in the refrigerator.  It feels like something is off in my head.  I wish that everything (including me) were logical and organized.  I wish I could move on from all these stupid & irrelevant things I keep torturing myself over.  I probably sound like a total weirdo here… 🙁