hi it’s me again…i’m 22…i’m at college today (only here on tuesdays and thursdays for class)
i feel so left out most of the time…i’ve been here for 4 years and i don’t have a single friend that i hang out with here.
i drive here, go to class, and drive home.

i know i’m secluding myself sometimes, but it just seems easier that way. at least if i’m by myself i can’t say or do stupid stuff…when i say something and people ignore me or make fun of me, it makes me want to SI more so i just try my best to keep my mouth shut.

that’s better than getting hurt right?

i’ve been thinking alot about a different form of SI and it seems really plausable right now…

is it bad that i’m getting addicted? (well, i know it is, i just don’t want it to be true.)

sorry, alot of what i’ve said is sorta rhetorical (i already know the answer to)…

i’m just so messed up right now. i love and hate being the way i am.

<3

L