Slipped up…again. I’ve been trying to go cold turkey for months now, but when i get really stressed s.i. seems like the only way to turn off my brain. I’m telling myself that will be the last time i s.i., but realistically it probably won’t. I keep asking myself why i think i’ll be better off without it, and i don’t know exactly what the answer is. I don’t know if i really have a good reason for giving it up…why give it up without a really good reason?
I know this is all kinda self-indulgent and stuff, but i don’t talk to any real-life people about this stuff. So it goes here instead.
Stay strong. I know its hard, and it takes more from you than anything does.
I used to say “this is my last time” often, knowing there was no truth in the words.
You will be better without it. I know you dont know me and could eaisly not beleive what i say, but i promise you ARE better without it.
Talking about it- even on a blog- is the first step.
Why stop SI’ing? Because although it relieves pain for a short while, it is hurting yourself in the long run. It’s not easy to stop, but in the end, it will be worth it. If you ever need help, feel free to email me at emilykrause10@gmail.com for any advice or support. <3 Em
To stop SI’ing takes time. I know. I tried for 3 years to stop and finally did a few months ago. Its hard. Very, very, very hard. But once you really stop… it feels amazing. You have to be totally ready inside yourself to stop to actually be able to. You find better and safer ways to cope and you will feel amazing about yourself. Trust me. Just be patient with yourself. SI’ing is almost an addiction sometimes, and addictions are very difficult to drop. Just keep working and remember that we all have faith in you.