I recently confided in one of my closest friends about my SI. I was previously scared that maybe he’d run away and leave me like a few people I thought were my friends have before. But he didn’t. I don’t know what it is about him. I’ve only known him since the start of school (so about 2 months), and I’m already so close to him. I tell him everything and he still doesn’t judge him. I’m so happy to have found a best friend as great as him.
So a little while ago, I was able to stop my SI for 26 days. I was so upset when I slipped up but now, looking back, I’m incredibly proud of myself. If you had asked me before, when things were really bad for me, I would have laughed in your face if you told me I would go a whole 26 days without SI. As of now, I’ve started over again. It’s been 2 weeks and I feel stronger than ever. I have all these great new friends at a new school. Everything’s new and I feel like I am too. Everyone in my new school is so accepting. Our whole class is only 50 people, so we’re like a little family. We all look out for each other and I love that.
Lately, I’ve been throwing myself into guitar, and writing. Whenever I feel like I want to SI, I grab my guitar and play my heart and pain out. I’ve also taken to having a notebook with me all the time and whenever I’m upset, I just write a poem or a new song.
I feel so amazing right now. For once in my life, I think I’m happy. I see the hope that I once doubted existed. Although I’m still dealing with a lot of the injuries/scars, I know it’ll be ok. Never in my life have I ever felt this great. I guess I just wanted to let you guys know that there is hope. For so long, I read posts of people being happy (I envied them), but I never thought it would happen for me. I was so far into it, that I thought there was no way out. There is and I know that now. I hope you guys all feel the way I’m feeling right now because I can’t even describe to you how fantastic it feels.
Thanks for reading all that if you did. I hope it made you feel better, and if not, well it certainly helped me to write. I love you all. You’re all beautiful. Remember that. <3
i’m glad to hear that. at least someone here is doing well
You are really amazing and are going to inspire alot of people to find someone to confide in. You should be really pround because you are overcoming a big problem in your life and i hope that everyone has as much hope as you do.