I had been doing so well. Although, I still have a few slip ups into si a few times.. and now it is all i think about. i know i dont want that life back but at the same time i do. everything i used to do to try to distract myself doesnt even sound appealing anymore. my depression is growing deeper. i see my grades slipping, which is not helping my stress. i just want to sit in my room in complete darkness alone. i dont know what to do anymore. i feel so alone, yet everyone is freaking out that i wont go out or do anything. i jsut want to be alone, but no one wants to trust me to be alone. even the little things take all the energy out of me. i dont even want to laugh if something is funny.

what happened? why is this happening? i was doing so well. now im back down, lower than i was before.