I injured myself last night. I really don’t feel any different now. It’s been a pain hiding from my family, but even if they do ask I won’t really care. I do wish my life would change somehow. I wish I could find a job and move out of this house that has done so much permanent damage to me. I just feel like a pinball being bounced around. I don’t even know what else to say on here or what I’m doing here in the first place. I can’t sleep as usual, so I thought I would write to you all. It just makes me mad knowing that drug addicts, felons and women who refuse to stop having children are given so many more opportunities than a person that’s been sad for a couple of years. I went to a website and typed ex-con employment agencies and they’re everywhere. I’ve joked with my therapist in the past about confessing to some random crime just so I’d have security in the future. I honestly don’t have anything left.
Anyways, I think I’m going to go lay down and toss and turn until I have to be awake in 4 hours.